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A new Fun page for Adult Humor! Have Fun and Don't take offense.
Got Condoms?
Which Brand do you prefer?
Nike condoms: Just do it.
Toyota condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet
Pepsi condoms: You got the right one, baby
Pringle condoms: Once
you pop you can't stop.
Mentos condoms: The Freshmaker.
Secret condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balance for a women.
Macintosh condom: it does more, cost less, it's that simple.
Ford condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy condoms:
Like a rock.
New York Lotto condoms: Cause hey-you never know.
California Lotto condom: Who's next?
Avis condom: Trying harder than ever.
KFC condoms:
Finger-Licking Good.
Microsoft condom: Where do you want to go
today?
Energizer condoms: It keeps going and going and going...
M&M condoms: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!
MCI condoms: For family and friends
Doublemint
condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun.
Delta Airlines
condoms travel pack: Delta is ready when you are.
United Airline
condoms travel pack: Fly united
The Star Trek condom: To boldly
go where no man has gone before.
UK Lotto: Dont have a Little,
have a Lotto!
Polo Condoms: Holey Refreshing
Kingdom of Hearts Condoms: You never know who your next adventure will be with
Ford: Like a Rock
Shell:
Whatch us grow
McDonalds: I'm lovin' it
Powerade: Real Power
Gatorade: is it in you?
Yahoo: dreams found faster
Volkswagon:
Drivers wanted
Pimikin Beef Jurkey: My works hard but my jurkys
tender
Glade: Plug it in, plug it in.
Jcpennys condom: It's all inside
Folgers
condoms: It feels like the first time
Six Flags Condoms: It's
playtime
Sylvan Condoms: Learning feels good
Bell condoms: Go
X box Condoms:
It’s good to play together
Sainsbury Flavoured Condoms:
Making life taste better.
Tesco Condoms: Every little helps.
Peugeot Condoms: The ride of your life
FCUK
condoms: No comment required.
Matress Giant Condoms: it gives
you that ooh ahh feel
Hellmann's mayonaise condom: Bring out the Best
Fun Facts
"Ithyphallophobia" is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having
an erect penis.
"Venus observa" is the technical term for the "missionary
position."
"Formicophilia"
is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals.
Fuck
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories:
It can be used as a verb, both transitive "John fucked Mary" and intransitive "Mary was fucked by John"
It can be an action verb "John really gives a fuck" a passive verb "Mary really doesn't
give a fuck" an adverb "Mary is fucking interested in John" or as a noun "Mary is a terrific fuck"
It
can also be used as an adjective "Mary is fucking beautiful" or an interjection "Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary"
It can even be used as a conjunction "Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid"
As
you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".
Apart
from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
6. Disgust "Fuck me."
7.
Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand fucking Maths!"
9. Despair "Fucked again..."
10. Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."
11. Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the fuck
are we."
13. Disbelief "UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!"
14. Retaliation "Up your
fucking ass!"
15. Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
16. Perplexity
"I know fuck all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
18.
Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
19. Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
20.
Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
21. Directions "Fuck off."
22.
Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"
It can be used...
...in an anatomical description "He's a fucking asshole."
...to tell time
"It's five fucking thirty."
...in business "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
...maternal "Motherfucker."
...political "Fuck Dan Quayle!"
It has also been used by many notable people throughout history :
Mayor
of Hiroshima "What the fuck was that?"
General Custer "Where did all these fucking Indians
come from?"
Captain of the Titanic "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?"
John Lennon "That's not a real fucking gun."
Richard Nixon "Who's gonna fucking
find out?"
Anne Boleyn "Heads are going to fucking roll."
Willard
Scott "It's someone's 100th fucking birthday today!"
Albert Einstein "Any fucking idiot could understand
that."
Picasso "It does so fucking look like her!"
Pythagoras
"How the fuck did you work that out?"
Michaelangelo "You want what on the fucking ceiling?"
Walt Disney "Fuck a duck."
Edmund Hilary "Why? Because its fucking there!"
Joan of Arc "I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?"
Donald Trump "She wants
how much fucking money?!?!?"
Orville Reddenbacher "Look! Almost every fucking kernel popped!"
Jim Lovell (captain of Apollo 13) "Huston, We have a fucking problem!!"
Dirty Jokes to make you laugh:
Buying Condoms
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come inpacks of 3, 9 or
12 and asks which the young man wants. 'Well,' he said, 'I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want
the condoms because I think tonight's 'the' night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've
got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the
12 pack.'
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the
blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone
starts eating. The girl leans over and says, 'You never told me that you were such a religious person.'
He leans over to her and says, 'You never told me that your father is a pharmacist.'
Little Red Riding hood
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping through the forest on her way to Grandma's house. Suddenly, the Big Bad
Wolf jumps out of the forest and says, " Your in deep trouble Little Red Riding Hood. I'm going to rip off your clothes and
rape you until you faint."
With that, Little Red Riding Hood reaches into her basket and pulls out a very large handgun, points it at
the Big Bad Wolf and says. "No you're not, you're going to drop to your knees and EAT ME, just like the story says."
First Blowjob
A guy walks into the bar and orders 9 shots of tequilia. So the bartender pours nine shots and the man downs
one after the other.
"Holy shit!" the baretnder exclaimes "That the most tequila I've ever seen anyone drink that fast before -
whats the occassion!?!"
"My first blow job" the man anounces quite plainly
"Well" the bartender replies "let me buy you another!"
"Listen, if 9 doesn't take the taste out of my mouth, another one won't help."
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